


A Gentle Place

by innerslytherin



Series: The Fifth Year [19]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-04
Updated: 2010-07-04
Packaged: 2017-10-10 09:33:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/98188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/innerslytherin/pseuds/innerslytherin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emily's not a mother but she understands how it feels to lose a child.  Aaron's a parent but needs to be reminded, sometimes, to be a lover as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Gentle Place

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [](http://resolucidity.livejournal.com/profile)[**resolucidity**](http://resolucidity.livejournal.com/) for the beta and brain-storming. **SPOILERS for "Mosely Lane".**

  
The kitchen table needed to be washed. There was something sticky on it. It was probably jelly from the toast Emily had eaten for breakfast, though she wasn't sure. But instead of getting up, she just picked at the stickiness with a fingernail.

"You look pensive."

Emily didn't look up. She took a breath, stirred more creamer into her decaf, and sighed. "Just thinking about all those people who didn't have their children come home today. Do you think we'll ever know how many of those missing children they were responsible for?"

Dave's lips pulled to one side in a grimace of regret. "Probably not, with both of them dead." He didn't sound too unhappy about it though, and Emily rolled her eyes.

"Don't bother pretending. You and I both know you're glad."

Dave shrugged. "Taxpayers paid for Ted Bundy to fight the death penalty for eight years. You know I think that's a waste of taxpayer money."

Emily didn't necessarily disagree with him, most of the time, but she also knew she was biased in favor of the victims, and she knew that sometimes closure was the only consolation a victim's family could have. "Gary Ridgway helped authorities bring closure to the families of some of his victims because the state agreed not to seek the death penalty," she countered.

Dave arched an eyebrow and sipped his coffee, and abruptly Emily felt better somehow. Debating with Dave always helped. "Closure they wouldn't have needed if Ridgway hadn't spent the better part of twenty years abducting and murdering their daughters."

Emily sighed. "But weren't they better off knowing? You saw what hope did to Sarah."

Dave settled a hand over hers and squeezed gently. "You know," he said after a few moments, "there was one thing you said that bothered me earlier."

She cast back in her mind, trying to think of what he could be talking about. Nothing immediately made itself known, so she shrugged. "Okay, you got me. What did I say?"

He lifted her hand to his lips. "That you're not a mother."

She glanced over at him. There were times she found herself...not doubting, not really...but sometimes she couldn't help wondering how Dave could really love her enough to agree to become a father at fifty-four. They'd started trying to get her pregnant even before telling the team they were engaged. There was still a good chance she would be walking down the aisle--or standing in front of the justice of the peace--in a maternity wedding dress.

Her hesitance must have shown on her face, because he tilted his head and leaned closer. "Hey," he said quietly. "I'm not just doing it for you. You know that, right?"

Emily swallowed and just kept looking at him. She had never been sure he really wanted it. But she was afraid it would piss him off if she admitted that.

He ducked his head, holding her gaze. "Em, I want this family. I want to have babies with you and raise kids with you. And yeah, maybe I started wanting it because you wanted it first. But the thing is, I think of the way you are with Henry, or some of the kids we've had to deal with because of work, and I can't imagine you _not_ being a mom. You're a wonderful woman, and you will be a wonderful mother. And I'm sure as hell not letting some other man be the father of your children." He gave her a lopsided smile. "The thought still scares the shit outta me sometimes, but Hotch tells me that's normal."

She felt her eyes prickling with unshed tears, but she burst out laughing at his last words. "Yeah, well, join the club," she admitted. He put an arm around her and she leaned into his embrace. "Sometimes," she murmured, leaning her head on his shoulder. "Sometimes I think we're both crazy."

She closed her eyes and smiled. "But I'm glad you're crazy with me."

***

Aaron fell asleep in the car on the way to pick up Jack. Spencer didn't mind. He knew Aaron hadn't slept much since Aimee first went missing. It was any parent's nightmare, and of course Aaron still struggled with the dichotomy of being a father versus being an FBI agent. Add to that the fact that Aaron was blaming himself for not believing Sarah Hillridge, and it was actually a relief to see Aaron asleep in the passenger seat of the Malibu.

Spencer parked in Jessica's driveway and turned the ignition off, then took a deep breath and looked up at the front door for a minute. It still made him nervous how friendly and genuinely supportive Jessica Brooks was. She looked enough like Haley to make Spencer awkward and a little paranoid, but in the time since Aaron had told her about their relationship, she'd kept being nice to Spencer.

He still couldn't help holding his breath a little every time he saw her.

"Aaron," he said, reaching out to grip his lover's knee gently. "We're here. You want me to get Jack?" he added, even though he knew what the answer would be.

Aaron made a sleepy, bewildered noise that made Spencer's heart jump pleasantly. Then he opened his eyes and smiled at Spencer. _God, I love you so much_, Spencer thought, but he'd only managed those words a handful of times, and they were just so hard to say. Everyone he'd ever loved had gone away, except Aaron. He had to wonder if saying those words too often might be tempting fate.

"Think I was dreaming," Aaron said, and yawned. Then he shook his head. "I'll go get Jack. Jess's probably ready for some time to herself."

It was nice watching the door swing open and Aaron go down to his knees to envelope Jack in his strong arms. It made Spencer feel warm and secure to see how much Aaron loved his son. He was smiling as Aaron told Jessica goodbye and walked back to the car.

"...an' then we made clay-dough with food col'ring an' it was green and red and blue and Aunt Jessie said if we putted it in the oven it would stay that way forever an' _ever_!" Jack was already chattering as Aaron pulled the back door open and got him settled into his car seat. "But then the kitty eated some of it, and Aunt Jessie started waving her hands like this!"

There was the quiet thud of a tiny fist contacting flesh. "Ouch," Aaron remarked, and Jack sucked in a breath.

"I didn't mean to hit you, Daddy!" he exclaimed. "I didn't, I didn't, we don't hit!"

Spencer wrenched around to try to get a look at what had happened. Aaron had a hand covering his nose and eye, but he let out a chuckle, so Spencer supposed he wasn't too badly hurt.

"I know you didn't mean to, Jacks," Aaron murmured, leaning in to kiss his son's hair. "I'm not angry."

"Are you all right?" Spencer murmured, and Aaron shrugged--a gesture that postponed answering, rather than answering that he didn't know.

"I think someone's just a little hyper," Aaron remarked, and finished fastening Jack in. "Let's go home and see if taking a bath does him any good."

***

"Morgan screwed up, you know," Emily said. She was in the tub, recovering as she watched Dave brush his teeth.

Dave, still feeling pretty smug about their latest attempt at getting Emily pregnant, couldn't follow wherever that remark had come from. "Huh?" he managed through a mouthful of toothpaste. He leaned down and spat.

"When he basically questioned if becoming a mother had ruined JJ's objectivity. Did you see the look on Hotch's face?"

Dave glanced over at her. "I saw the look on _yours_," he said, rinsing his toothbrush. "If looks could kill..."

"Well, come on," she said, glowering. "What an asshole. No one's ever thought to ask _Hotch_ if being a father compromised his objectivity. But JJ has a baby and all of a sudden Morgan starts questioning her? That's bullshit."

Dave raised his eyebrows. "Preaching to the choir, babe," he said, because honestly, he agreed, but he didn't want to hear the rant. Morgan _had_ been out of line, but then again, he was good at doubting.

Emily sighed. "Sorry," she said, sounding grumpy. That wouldn't do. Wouldn't do at all. Dave pursed his lips, considering, then went over to kneel next to the tub.

"You know," he murmured, scooping water in his hand and trickling it down between her breasts. "You sound like you need a little distraction." He grinned and slid his hand down under the surface to slip against her skin. "Let me help with that."

She twitched and caught her breath, then lowered her eyelids halfway and pressed into his touch. "Yeah, why don't you," she murmured, curling a hand around the back of his neck and tugging his mouth to hers.

***

"He's finally asleep," Aaron murmured, pausing in the doorway to survey his bedroom. Spencer was sprawled on the bed in a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt that slipped sideways to expose his collarbone. He was wearing his glasses and his hair (newly trimmed, thanks to Aaron's influence) tumbled into his face.

Spencer tilted his head and smiled at Aaron. "Good. Then you can finally take off that tie."

Aaron arched an eyebrow, then winced at the sting. He had a feeling Jack had given him a black eye. He smiled back. "Or you could take it off me."

"No." Spencer's voice was speculative as he propped himself up on his elbows. "I want to watch you take it off." The grin spread so slowly across his face that it took Aaron a moment to realize what he'd just said.

The suggestion sent a pulse of arousal through Aaron, straight to his groin. He could feel his gaze grow hungry as he obediently tugged at the tie and let it fall to the carpet. His shoes and belt followed, and shirt and pants didn't take much longer. In boxers, undershirt, and socks, Aaron climbed onto the bed and kissed Spencer hungrily.

"You're so beautiful," Spencer whispered against his lips. "So strong and tender and vulnerable."

The words stopped Aaron for a moment and he drew back to study his lover. Spencer just shook his head and placed a finger against his lips.

"It always scares me to say I love you," Spencer breathed, his gaze on Aaron's mouth instead of his eyes. "But the thing is, I know you would never choose to leave me. So it shouldn't scare me. And I think you need to hear it. So...so..." He licked his lips and lifted his gaze to Aaron's. "So I love you and I love you and I love."

Aaron couldn't catch his breath anymore, but then it didn't matter because Spencer was rolling them over until he could straddle Aaron's hips, and then Spencer's mouth was against his mouth and his neck and his chest and Aaron's clothes were gone and he was arching into Spencer's mouth and crying out his name.

And for the first time in days, the world was a gentle place again, if only for a night.  



End file.
